NEVER TRY TO COMPLICATE A BLONDE!
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town
with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree,
and headed into a restaurant for something
cold to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the
restaurant and asked,’ who owns the dog tied
under that tree outside?
The blonde said it was hers. ‘Your dog seems to
be in heat’ the officer said.
The blonde replied, ‘No way. She’s cool ’cause
she’s tied up under that shade tree.
The policeman said, ‘No! You don’t
understand. Your dog needs to be bred.’
‘No way,’ said the blonde. ‘My dog doesn’t need
bread. She isn’t hungry ’cause I fed her this
mornin.’
The exasperated policeman said, ‘NO! You
don’t understand. Your dog wants to have
sex!’
The blonde looked at the cop and said, ‘Well,
go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.
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Subject: Police Wisdom
A police cycle cop stops a driver for running a red light. The guy is a
real jerk and comes running back to the officer demanding to know why he
is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the
red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade,
questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather
explicit terms.
The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything. When he gets
done with writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of
the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to the ‘violator’
for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented
with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that
you’re an asshole!”
Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has such a bad driving
record he is about to lose his license and has hired a lawyer to
represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run
the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;
“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket you issued my
client?”
Officer responds, “Yes sir, that is the defendants copy, his signature
and mine, same number at the top.
Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this
ticket you don’t normally make?”
Officer: “Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an
“AH,” underlined.”
Lawyer: “What does the “AH” stand for, officer?”
Officer: “Aggressive and hostile Sir.”
Lawyer: ” Aggressive and hostile?”
Officer: “Yes Sir?
Lawyer: “Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for Asshole?”
Officer: “Well sir, you know your client better than I do.”
Leroy and L’Quiesha go to the San Leon Primitive Baptist Church revival
and listen to the preacher.
come forward to the front at the altar.
Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?”
on top of Leroy’s head and prays and prays and prays. He prays a
blue streak for Leroy.
hands, stands back and asks, “Leroy, how is your hearing now?”
June 27, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Conclusion: Blonde it is a not color of hairs, it is an eternal alibi
June 27, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Gee, I wish I’d said that! I’m sorry, but even that bit of “wisdom” is cliche when it comes to blondes. I’m a blonde and I think I’ve heard most of the jokes and cliches, etc. over the years. My attitude now is: They’re cute — and universal! Just plug in “brunette”, “redhead”, “male,” or any designated group of humans, and you can cover most “dumb” situations. Besides, as a blonde I find they afford me some attention that I probably would not otherwise deserve!